Funny, Not Funny

Life is funny.

And also not funny.

Right now it's the not so funny type of funny.  The kind where you laugh inwardly at it because it just makes absolutely zero sense.  But it also does.  Because I already know most of the answers.

The Babe has been gone on temporary assignment which has given me the opportunity to be home.  I mean at me roots home.  Which has been good.  Really.  It's been good for me.

I've been dealing with a lot of (ew) feelings lately.  And I am one to express myself in artistic ways, but I hate openly and outwardly admitting to those feelings in a verbal sense.  I've gotten better at doing that thanks to therapy, life, my wonderful parents and in-laws, and my amazing husband who is seriously sometimes like my very own mental health counselor. 

But sometimes thing are just too deep.  Buried down, down, waaaay down underneath it all.  And sometimes those things like to pop up in your life and out of your subconscious (which you thought was suppressed pretty far) like those little mechanical moles in the game Whack-A-Mole.  

You're going along when, suddenly, pop! Out of nowhere there it is. 

And another.

And another!

Until there are just too many moles and probably a few more since you kind of just buried them under ground to repopulate unknowingly.

It's time to get a handle on these dang moles!  Darn hairy nasty rodents. 

So I've been thinking a lot - probably too much.  And praying a lot - probably not enough.  And I finally ended up going to see  The Glass Castle with my mamma.

Holy guacamole.  Life changed!

Okay, maybe not that easily, but seriously! It was sooooo good for me!  I ate it up like birthday brownies (no cake for me, thank you!).  It was uh-maze-ing. 

It was a beautiful memoir of a girl whose parents are nomads.  Her father is an alcoholic and mother an artist.  They show her a harder side of life.  But through it all she learns how to chase down her demons and is healed by forgiveness. 

It's amazing where life will take you if you just take off your shoes and let your bare feet hit the pavement.

I didn't get all my answers.  There are still many very persistent moles.  But at least I have realized that they are there.  And I never forgot but have been intensely reminded and humbled in knowing again that God is always there.  And He is going to help me wack these moles once and for all.

So here goes.  Bare feet, lots of pavement, and a mallet in each hand to wack them.  But I'm not going to wack em down into their holes again.  Nooooo sir.  They will be  whacked into their unconscious state and placed elsewhere.  Who knows, maybe this pavement will eventually turn into an open field and I'll lay down in the grass, stare up at the trees, and be able to breath again.


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